It isn't me

You saw me laugh out
You saw me with them
I smile, sit back
Quietly still with such
Smile on the face.

Saw me again
This time frivolous
Out loud, careless
There’s only me in this world
I am me and the world
Doesn’t care

Who do you think you saw?
Which is real, which isn’t?

Maybe it isn’t me when I laugh
Maybe it isn’t me when I smile
Might be the mask I forced out
Might this be,
Don’t you know just who I am?

Never saw me cry
Didn’t hear me talk
If ever you did
I’m glad
It wasn’t just that I exist.

I laughed when I should’ve cried
I tried to cry but found myself laughing
Even from myself
I feel restrained

Maybe it isn’t me when I sing
Maybe it isn’t me when I listen
It might be that I didn’t care at all
This was just a play
And I’m the one pretending.

I just want to clear my head.
Don’t force yourself
Just think
Who I really am.