First love,,

They say that first love never dies. i guess it was true from what I've heard, but is it really when it seems like you've been forgotten by the one who you thought to be your first love?

I was just this typical somebody. I was grade two and i didn't know him. It was the time of grade four when he, at last, made a grand entrance in my life. Grand? When i can't even remember how i met him. All i know is, that he's a seat mate, he became a friend.
Every passing day was a day worth looking forward to. There i developed into something a child cannot name. There at the mere presence of him, makes me smile.
He then spoke to me of things that cracks my shiny heart. The first stab of pain. He told me, he liked someone else. He didn't know what i felt for him. He even raved on how we looked alike. I felt weirded by his behavior. He told me of things i don't make sense of. He told me, he saw me when we were in grade 2. I don't even know him at that time. He wanted me to sit by his side. He even said yes for a picture with just the two of us! Something my childish mind can't agree with. He made me feel that he was, like, having an interest on me.
I was on the brink of asking him whether or not does he like me. And i almost did, if it wasn't for this pride i have.
And now, 4 years had passed since our unofficial adieu. Four years since the happy memories. Years since the unforgettable experiences.
Now, after four years of waiting, he then took another entrance in my life. We're not children anymore. We're already teenagers and after a year or so, legally adults. I have every opportunity of asking whether he loves me or not. I don't have the childlike courage who is not afraid of losing. I have now become so afraid of losing that only thing I have in this life. I was so scared of taking risks, of losing our friendship. My heart suffered 10 folds, it was already crumbling to dust at the sight of 'i love you' in his page. I wish to know if he cares for me. I wish to know if he feels the same way i do. I wish to know if it is true that first love never dies..