For the noodle (dated 26-10)

And these were the things I wanted to partake.

With words I knew would lay forgotten

If I'd see your smiling face:

Thank you for another life

You've been my salvation

to when I've sunked so low,

lost and out of touch

I've been a fickle-minded fool

who'd sink deep into the bitter abyss.

Thank you for the sweet words

You've made me feel

that I am beautiful as I am

though how others say

Your words corroded with lies

nor my own doubts that they are true

Your words are what I would hold

I would take heed, take heart

And pretend that it wasn't you

the one who constantly bring doubts in my heart.

Thank you for my whims

my often selfish acts

Your kind heart, cheating heart.

Thank you for the spur of the moment

Your melting gaze,

snippets of a kiss,

glimpses with your life.

Thank you for letting me stay

Thank you for staying

For small  words with big meanings

and the opportunity to think far and beyond.

I thank you for the tolerance,

for my unexpected madness, insanity acts

Thank you for the "I Love you", "I miss you,"

And "I'll always be here,"

I've felt it. Deep. In my heart.

I would treasure you.

I would treasure these moments

Your memories, Your love

with deep regret

of my unstable mind, tainted love

of my selfish desires.

I would hold on to what you've promised

I'd hold back from straying to you

I  would keep waiting

until Time sets me free

Because once I say goodbye

I'll say goodbye until you come by again.

I'm sorry for these passing days

for being your damsel in disgrace

I've always been in disgrace

confused with my head in the clouds

I'm still that fickle-minded fool

Who'd never think before she acts.

I'm sorry for the doubt

Your sweet words bring comfort

and threefold of insecurities

No matter what I say,

you were judged on what you are.

I'm sorry for the lies

I've hidden you within my own world

looking back into sweet remembrance

I think of you with such false hopes

Fooling myself, fooling others

I'm sorry - because I knew you'd let me be

with the people who'd became

the closest thing I've ever had.

I'm sorry for the times

I've never thought of what you want

You are a kind-hearted soul with a broken heart

And though I see it, I did not mind

I'm sorry for the selfishness

of fearing the loss, of losing you.

I'd admit that I am weak,

I'd admit to my loneliness

I'd admit to my pride - of being proven wrong

despite the facts laid down on me.

I'm sorry for the sadness

I'm sorry for being  weak,

my expectations, and my assumptions.

I assumed that you are true

Even if I'd discover the contrary.

I'd seen you smile,

I was hoping it was not a lie.

You lie for other's sake

you do things not because you willed

You are a living contradiction

You are a child with a straight face

I love you

And I don't want to respond

when you vocalize your affections

I love you

I don't  need to respond

when you say you love me

I love you

When I hear you say the words

I long to kiss you

I love you

And I would always yearn to see you.

I love you

Your kindness is killing me.

Show me how you don't care

Show me a man, not a child

Show me your life with no deep regret

Because I can never show

that I could care more than this

I love you

But I want to stand by

independent by your embrace

I don't want to benefit more

I don't want to be cared when you can't

I love you

And I don't want to be loved by your kindness.

Nor your ideals, your charity.

I am who I am.

I don't want the 'help' that comes with a mirror.

I love you so much.

That I want to be your special place.