Updates - a sort of an unromantic way to list down uneventful events.

I'm staying up late just so I wouldn't have to sleep - I do have to leave early tomorrow (or in a few hours later) and, mind you, this would be more convenient.
Been watching an anime series on baseball and the values of tenacity.
Simultaneously sneaking peeks over my sisters - on their regular semester-ender struggles and exams and final projects.
Aaaand - I'm planning to sneak to Manila from Tarlac to finish up on my requirements - I finally convinced my mom to let me do things my way.
What was my way?
That's it: I'm transferring schools.
I wish it was THAT simple.
I'm transferring from one of the prestigious liberal must-get-into university to some state university - a place my sister could classify as somewhere Hell may exist.
Though, I do suppose that she was getting the the impression from the lack of things thereof, as well as the closed-mindedness that surrounds her daily humor.

Oh yeah, for the record - I wasn't even sure that THAT was something that I wanted.
(My mom had great powers of speech - to convince, guilt-trip, and just plain make my life miserable by being the heroic person that she is. Yes, I admit to being delusional at most times.)

I wish I could elaborate more from I've just started - but I'm already running late.

Willing to Wait

Tick-tock

the clock is running

Humid air hung in solemn

sun at its peak

The shadows stagnant

in a few millimeter's radius

at her feet.

"To whom do we serve

this purpose in vain wait?"

As she was a statue

among trees.

Busy bustles

the slur of passing cars

Often a shrill of

screeching asphalts

Steady wind

that does not sway

a strand of her hair.

"To what could be accomplished

by standing still?"

Both hands hanging

limply by her sides.

Graying clouds

Leaves in concrete motions

Stale air

accompanied with

the sun's stench

Amidst the life on the go

Face blanked

where emotions had fled.

"Why keep on doing

something without purpose?"

With that,

sighed in resignation. //

05-december-2013

Simple Wish

Sleep seemed

to be the farthest sound

One that strained to hear.

Strange,

that melody kept playing on

but the words

sounded gibberish

that passes through the canals

of my thoughts.

Strange,

that melody of no rhythm

no notes could hold,

like water

I could contain at the

cup of my palm.

Sleep seemed

too far for me to reach.

No metaphors

could symbolize

an act of pure desperation.

No reasons

could amount

to questions with no lead.

Strange,

that I couldn't use

a sense to perceive

something slipping

from my grasp.

The act of

closing the eyes

Where the senses

could still drift

midway,

from the linen sheets,

the stagnant air,

the stale taste,

and that metallic stench.

Where I could

hear that annoying buzz

Heat from a

drenched

blanket of wooden cloth.

There it goes,

the crowning of thorns,

the horizon

spreads its wings

and that shimmer

of orange light

painting the floors

blood red.//

29-January-2014

For Renee - in interpretations of a way of life

You kept your world

in a minimum span

of your experiences.

Open.

To the point of beliefs

and the vast

acceptance of inexperience.

You've kept touch

out of people

who touches your life

and lies that corrode

from that multitude of thoughts.

You are a deep well

of archaeological soil

where the weather

creates sedimentary craft

over time and epochs

of your being.

You've kept your views

in a channel of perspective

that what you say

is not who you are.

You take life

as a stepping stone

- a battle with strategies.

A plot for life.

You plan,

take notes,

and yet let rivers

carry you to the every page

- to every journey

where you don't take part.

You are a budding soul

yet to encounter

Fate

in its own form.

04-December-2013

Untitled

I am lost

within transitions of everyday bearings

abruptly dismantled

from an ideal world,

breaking free from insignificant routines.

I've changed various perspectives

liberal mind, still a coward to changes.

I could not apply,

I have gained more than I could give.

I am still that curled figure

within the corner of the dark room.

My mind is cluttered

with fluctuating thoughts

and overflowing ideas.

Ideals with no physical soul

in trials to assuming an identity.

Yet deemed late in blossoms.

Lost within the swirls and tides

that chaotic feeling drowning

in a vast empty space.

These words petrified,

screaming with no meaning.

27-November-2013

Untitled

Leave it be,

the loneliness would soon

succumb back to its wallows.

Soon,

as long as I don't catch a glimpse

my life would revolve back

to where you don't exist.

I long for the days,

where I do not think

where I do not lie

I do not hide

I long for the days

when I could smile

just think of the end of the day

not, the end of my life.

You are the sunshine

My oxygen, my H₂O

I would break stop this photosynthetic cycle

Break free

and flee.

24-October-2013

Untitled

I'm scared to fall

scared that it's a dream

I'm a fool easy to please

blindfolded, smiling with ease.

Be careful with my heart

Be careful with your words

take heed when others say

She's innocent yet naive.

I'm scared to take part

Scared to commit

I didn't want to admit

because if you'd known

- you'd toy with my soul.

My red thread could be cut,

- tied at a post

could easily be mistaken

connected through your wrist.

I'm scared to part

scared to let go.

Did you aim to break hearts?

Fine, take mine

you win.

I wish I could not feel

I wish I could reel

I wish when you leave

You'd take the pain

from longing deep,

falling far.

Just take a lifetime of love

I'd rather live empty

and lose.

21-October-2013