A Eulogy for my Most Beloved

People would not always recall

the evils of the heart

as what you've believed

your philosophy, the mantra of your soul.

Odes that would sing

a millennium of regret

- the end does not cover

how you've fulfilled your vows.

People would then recall

the kindness of your heart

what you've believed

your humble thoughts.

Sonnets does nothing more

than to restrict your bounds

- our end would always cover

how kindness does not mean Truths.

Your lies are my truth

and your lies spoke true

That I would cry rivers

should you jump to the other side.

I would cry when you depart

grieve when you're still here

for your love is not for me

but for when you turned free.

This words are not for you

when you flee with your own accord

This words does not speak

for the life, or death, of you.

This song is made for you

though not for your self.

My love from this words

came from the fact of inflicted pain.

I should have wrote

with soul when it was still mine

I should have wrote

when I was still filled with that flickering flame.

It'll never be too late

to write you a letter

but it was too late

to leave without pain.// 012115

Thoughts 071315

It’s been a while -

I’ve been sort of out of touch since a LOT of things had been going on, but mostly it’s the lack of bandwidth signals and hardware issues that stopped me. I never realized the importance of your own personal space (and gadget) until I’m craving for it.

Here’s to my virtual space staring into nothingness as virtual dust accumulates with my molding ideas.

Nothing’s fairly new, aside from moving across the country, resetting school, and throwing opportunities within a blink of an eye that people’s probably cursing at those wasted privileges - come on, I don’t even care about those, it never made me happy. People never really get what I am thinking, why I was thinking that way, or why I even do things. They think they do. I’m quite sure they don’t. Because I don’t even understand myself. All I ever know is this:

Happiness is a pursuit. A never ending race.

Among the indecisive means I’ve considered and taken, this is a race that I was mandated to participate. A race I can’t win until I expire, can’t quit unless I die.

What’s my point in all these?

linking: https://withoutashoe.tumblr.com

Sonnet: Love-maker's Candles

Candles flickering by the moons

caressing skins, soft like meadows

scented smoke and woods and rivers

painted a picture of vast lands.

The glory that could claim what the gods

would blame, humanity's doings.

Nothing would ever compare these

from ancient ruins. Not even then

the truth from illusions, nor the

light of allusions. Streams of moon-

lit infatuations, that bright

blight of fiery passion throes and throngs.

My love of you is a candle

spread eagle across the landscape.// 012115

Stargazer

I wished to lie

stark naked to the cold

December air

sending chills to the bone.

I’d like a blanket

of stars

and glitters

where my constellation

of thoughts

form no path.

You are not

there when I needed you.

Stargazer,

the hermit I seek

count not the dots

amidst millions.

Trace not the path

- my thoughts, my fears

I do not dare believe

prophesies of

destinies and fate.

You became that dream

                I created out of need.

Daydream,

is what I do.

With the light of day

and twilight as its trail.

I bring forth

the imaginarium of thoughts.

Encased

in a fish bowl

underneath the blanket of moon.// 010315

That Perfect Fit of a Heartbreak

You just stopped being there

for all of the best, the worst of all times

where you ignored most of my plea

hands held up like surrender spree

You just stopped coming back

when I never threw you out

You just stopped walking by

when I thought we’re side by side

I reached for a hand,

I reached thin air in space.

Where were you when I looked back?

That empty spot at the corner of a couch

Where had your essence gone?

When I sensed the warm disappear

You just stood up, turned away

                without a  second glance.

My heart skipped a beat as I heard a siren sing

red flashing lights, a warning death is near

I lingered with disbelief, scared of a sacred need

until I saw your back, living like nothing’s amiss.

I reached for your hand,

I reached your cold empty space.

Where were you when I looked back?

Your shadow that used to fallback behind.

Where had your essence gone?

When all I could see are disappearing acts.

You just stopped, stared to forget

                in a heartbeat, without a glance.

Where were your little words?

Ones you’ll whisper in my ears.

Where had your sonnets rhyme?

My words halted in mid-second stride

You are my perfect fit, now ending in a broken thread

                my heart abrupt in break.// 010515